


alone, together.

by katarama



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Established Relationship, Fluff, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Party, Skype
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-04
Updated: 2017-02-04
Packaged: 2018-09-21 23:06:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9570839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katarama/pseuds/katarama
Summary: It is hard at the end of the week, when Bitty's worn down and tired and emotionally drained and touch-starved.  It is hard knowing that he has someone, and that that someone can’t be there with Bitty.  Or, that, even if he could be there, he couldn’t bewithBitty, except for in the privacy of Bitty’s room.A lot of nights, it’s totally fine.  Tonight, Bitty is just tired.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt: [We talk in the dark as we fall asleep, and we are objects in the night sky outside of time. (It is the exact opposite of alone.)](http://sleepy-skittles.tumblr.com/post/155287327552/50-a-softer-world-prompts)

Bitty always makes a point of at least popping by each of the Haus parties Ransom and Holster pull out of their asses.  Now that he’s one of the older team members, and one of the team members living in the Haus, and now that he’s old enough to legally buy booze, he kind of automatically gets wrapped into the tail end of the planning sessions.  He doesn’t mind doing his part to make sure there’s food around so anyone who’s drinking isn’t doing it on an empty stomach, and he (of course) takes his turn with Nursey Patrol when his name is listed on the chart.  

He’s a junior, now, though, and between hockey and classes, he doesn’t always have the time for hanging around and throwing kegsters.  Plus, after two and a half years on the hockey team and one and a half years in the Haus, he’s started to dread the cleanup process almost as much as he looks forward to the fun parts of the parties, the dancing and the people and the team bonding.  

At least, those are the reasons he gives when he gives his boys big hugs and ducks out early for the night, retreating to his room for some peace and quiet.

There’s a reason that’s bigger than all of that, of course.  Bitty is too ashamed to mention it, because he knows what looks it would draw from the others, worry or concern or maybe even pity.  It’s hard sometimes, going to kegsters when Jack isn’t around.  He hates the little tendril of envy that creeps up in his chest as he watches Chowder holding Farmer’s hand, Chowder’s cheeks going red as Farmer shamelessly reaches into the Haus condom bag on the bulletin board.  It’s hard watching Ransom and Holster dancing around each other as they try to decide whether one of them’s gonna give up the room for the night or whether they’re going to head upstairs together or whether they’re both feeling into someone enough to bring back some company.  It’s hard knowing that Lardo isn’t even at the party, sometimes, that she deputized Dex to be the responsible one because she’s off in Cambridge spending the night at Shitty’s.  And it’s hard knowing that Dex is clearly distracted in his duties to be the responsible one, because he keeps zeroing in on where a tipsy Nursey’s making out with a girl from his poetry class against the kitchen counter.

He wants his friends to be the happiest, and he wants them to have someone, if they want someone.  The last thing he wants to do is hold anyone’s happiness against them.  It is hard, though, at the end of the week, when he’s worn down and tired and emotionally drained and touch-starved.  It is hard knowing that he has someone, and that that someone can’t be there with Bitty.  Or, that, even if he could be there, he couldn’t be _with_  Bitty, except for in the privacy of Bitty’s room.

A lot of nights, it’s totally fine.  Bitty has fun and hangs with his team and gets a little drunk and takes pictures for the groupchat.  

Tonight, Bitty is having to make the extra effort.  He plans out his outfit in advance and sneaks some Beyoncé into the party playlist to match.  He helps with snacks and he dances with Nursey and Rans and Holster, for the brief amount of time that Holster dances with them before he gets whisked away for a quickie with one of Camilla’s tennis friends.  Bitty dodges the gaze of a guy who he’s noticed trying to enter his orbit for about an hour and smiles through Nursey’s gentle ribbing.  He keeps his phone mostly in his pocket, though he is (as always) hyper aware of when it buzzes.

He’s just.  Tired, is all.  The party is starting to feel too loud and too busy as he dodges around people to get to the kitchen to refill his red solo cup with water from the tap.

It isn’t until he sits down at the table to take a breather and check his phone that anyone notices.

“Dude, Bits,” Lardo says.  She plops down in the seat next to him, a beer in her hand.  Bitty automatically goes to turn the screen off on his phone and set it down on the table, but it’s Lardo.  She watches the movement and meets his eyes, reaches out her hand to stop him.

“I owe you, like, three clean-up duties, if you want to bail.  And besides, that’s what the tadpoles are for, right?” Lardo says.  Bitty always wonders how she seems to just Know what to say to have relief spreading through him, and how she always manages to seem so subdued and nonchalant about it.  “Is he around?”

“On his way back to the hotel,” Bitty says.  “The rest of the younger guys are going out, so he has the room to himself.”

“Go Skype your boyfriend, then,” Lardo says.  “I’ve got things covered here.”

Bitty gives her the biggest hug he can before he winds his way back through the party and back upstairs to his room.  He unlocks his room and heads in, checking his phone again to see if he missed any texts and finding one new one.

Jack: you up?

Bitty rushes to turn his computer on as quickly as he can.

When he pulls up Skype, Jack’s already online, and Bitty doesn’t even have time to listen to the Skype phone ringing music before Jack is answering the video call, his blue eyes tired and his hair wet from the slower, but a soft smile on his face as he says, “Hey Bits.”

Bitty doesn’t know what time it is when they start talking, or how long they sit there on video chat.  Bitty’s voice goes from strained from talking over the music all night to a little bit hoarse, enough that Jack checks to make sure he isn’t getting sick.  Bitty knows it’s late, he can feel it in his shoulders and the droop of his eyelids, but Jack doesn’t have an early morning, and neither does Bitty, so he says he’s feeling fine and clings to every bit of time talking to Jack he can.  

Jack isn’t there with him, and Bitty does wish that he could reach out and give Jack a hug or a kiss.  Bitty wishes he could smell Jack’s shampoo or touch his bare skin or even just curl up next to him in Jack’s undoubtedly soft hotel bed next to Jack.  Distance is hard on Bitty, sometimes, even now that his team knows, and he isn’t hiding things all the time.  

It’s amazing, though, even with Jack being half a country away, how easy it is for Jack to make Bitty feel like he’s right there with him.  Jack makes Bitty laugh with his terrible, stealth jokes and his stories about Tater and Snowy and the rest of the guys.  Jack listens as Bitty talks about his classes and pays attention and asks questions in all the right places, even though Bitty is sure that Jack is just as tired as Bitty is, if not more.  

Jack makes Bitty feel important, no matter how far away they are.  And Bitty can feel the stress and the pervasive loneliness bleeding out of his body with even just this little time with Jack, can feel himself slowly recharging just from seeing Jack and talking to him through the computer screen.  It’s all in the little things that Jack does that make Bitty feel closer to Jack, like the way Jack brings Bitty with him when he goes to brush his teeth, and Bitty does the same, so it feels like they’re brushing their teeth together.  It’s Jack teasing that he will make his own set of French flashcards for Bitty, but Bitty being pretty sure that the next time Jack is at an office supply store, some index cards are actually going to make their way into Jack’s cart.  

It’s Jack admitting near the end of their call that he wants to buy the cast iron skillet that Bitty was eyeing when they went grocery shopping together the last time Bitty was in Providence, and the tightness in Bitty’s chest and the tears in his eyes that accompany it, because Bitty told Jack what a big deal it is down South, either passing the cast iron skillet down from a grandparent or having enough time to get a new one seasoned before going off and starting a family.

When the call finally starts to wrap up, it’s 4 AM, and the music from downstairs has gone quiet.  Bitty’s eyes are practically closed, and Jack jokes about Bitty falling asleep on Skype.  Bitty knows he should have been asleep ages ago, and that Jack probably should’ve, too.  But he feels less emotionally tired now than he has the rest of the week put together.  He isn’t carrying the weight of missing Jack around on his shoulders.

It will be another two weeks before he gets to see Jack in person again, and he knows that sounds like a long time.  But he also knows that, as long as he remembers he isn’t going through it alone, and as long as he talks to Jack, then it won’t feel like very long at all.

**Author's Note:**

> On tumblr [here](https://polyamorousparson.tumblr.com/).


End file.
